IDLE HANDS

I used to help people all the time. In real life or on the Internet. Both for m own knowledge and for being a helpful guy. Often it was stuff that they could not accomplish themselves, or something that was to hard for them. Examples of stuff I’ve helped ppl with, musical scores for video/computer-games, sound effects for such. Sourcecode to do hard or tedious task’s. For audio mostly but also other stuff. Most of the times it’s been for a specific project they where doing. In at least a hundred specific cases over the years I’ve been asked what I wanted I’ve answered “Buy me a nice gift when your project succeeds”.
This might be naive and trusty of me, especially since it in many cases concerned people that I did not know where well and never met in real life.
Most of these projects didn’t get finished, and the ones that did get finished failed to be popular/profitable.

Except one, it was a huge success. REALLY HUGE. like, dot-com huge. Not all my doing of course, I just helped with a tiny little bit. Still it was qualified work and we’d agreed on the gift thing. I waited by my email-client (not really, but you get the picture). Then I emailed and got tentative or not-really-rejecting-but-sure-feels-like-it answers a few times.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t whining, I was very careful of whining. I don’t want to be a whiner. I took special care not to write whiny emails. And I did not over e-mail.

Still nothing a year ago, when we agreed for a solution where music that I’ve been involved and licensing was mentioned (by me).

I came to think about this since it was about a year ago that that agreement was made (to look into licensing) and still nothing.

So for the last year and a half, I’ve given up on helping people to just about any extent on the Internet and I haven’t really released any VST’s over at shuriken.se.

This really feels like crap, I feel stupid because I’ve trusted people, but I still want to do it. I just cant anymore. Fuck that shit.

I think my creativity frightens people sometimes and sometimes it just perplexes them. But being uncreative frightens me more. I’ve got a void in my sole that I need to fill. Being creative is doing stuff, and making things that I cal put in the void makes the whole smaller. Learning is just the same thing as creating for me. Whenever I learn stuff I immediately think of way’s to use it for creating stuff. There are a lot of ways to be creative. Not everything needs to be something tangible, just sitting quietly thinking about the best way to make a bag or something else does the trick for me. I also need a bit of mundane ordinary everyday choirs to be creative. Without bottling up a bit of the creativity that way it wont have an outlet later.

I’ve read that Tim Ferris book about only working 4 hours a week. As nice as that sounds there are a few questions that you need to answer really.

Like, what would you with the rest of your time? And what would your goals be? What are your dreams?

I’m having a little bit of trouble with the last one. What do I really want to do. like _really_. If I only had 6 months left to live, what would I do?

I’m thinking about this a lot, because I haven’t really found a good answer. I know that most of the stuff I do on a daily basis are stuff that I don’t what to do. Like spending 2 hours going back and forth to my job. Mowing the lawn, or vacuuming. You know the basic stuff.

Why don’t I have dreams like wanting to go to Brazil and become a tango-master, or save the rain-forests or walking between Moskow and Bejing.
I have smaller, more mundane dreams.

to cheer me up, I read this article about why it sucks to have a record deal: http://www.toomuchjoy.com/?p=1397

This is a sample-disk. It contains samples, that you can use for creating music, or whatever.
The samples where all captured from a boom box I got on my like 8th birthday. (it’s the one in the picture). Needles to say, I’m not 8 anymore.

The waveforms are not taken from the FM band but rather the LM/MW bands. There are noise-samples that can be used for drones. Clicks and pop’s that might work splendidly for you as drums.

BEWARE, this sample-pack is not for everyone. Even though I’ve normalized and trimmed the sounds, they are not suitable for pop,soul r’n b and all that other radio-friendly stuff you hear on the… radio. well that didn’t make sense. (or did it?)

LICENSE:
Yeah, I’m gonna let you copy these samples as you wish, as long as you don’t charge money for them. It would be cool if you let the included  readme.txt follow them. If you happen to use them for a song that you can charge money for, be my guest. Hope you make a million money’s. You could also post links to your songs here.

Download the pack here: I heard it on the radio.zip

And here is the companionsong that you really cant not include
I heard i on the radio sample song.mp3